Mentor Youth Now

Half of the U.S. youth population (17.6 million kids to be exact) is considered "at-risk" of getting into trouble with the law, or "high-risk" and already in trouble. Our students are failing academically and dropping out in record numbers. Street gangs, drug addiction, child prostitution, homelessness, abuse and neglect are major concerns. Our children need help!

One solution that has been proven to work is mentoring. A mentor is a loyal advisor, a teacher or coach, confidante and role model. He or she is a special friend who serves as an advocate and makes an effort to bring out their best qualities.

I learned this first-hand in 1993 when I mentored a group of incarcerated teenage boys at a detention center through a Screenwriting Workshop that I taught. A number of the kids who were illiterate learned how to read and write through my program. A tough Latino gang leader had tattoos removed, and several of the boys wanted to go to college.

Thrilled with the results of this experience, I started a new Screenwriting Workshop, this time at a co-ed detention center. Again, these girls and boys were transformed through their experience of contributing to a screenplay, but especially from my interactions with them every week as their mentor. They opened their hearts, shared their problems, and flourished under my guidance.

Inspired by these successes, I founded a mentoring organization. I've personally mentored more than 50 of these kids and I've trained hundreds of others to mentor thousands of youth. Many of these kids have totally turned their lives around after being mentored.

You may wonder exactly what is mentoring. It's not tutoring, which involves the teaching of a skill or discipline. Mentoring depends on the nurturing of a close, personal relationship. While helping with schoolwork can be a part of it, that's just one aspect. Mentors inspire us to try harder and give us the confidence to reach for more ambitious goals. They teach us how to make good choices and also open doors to new opportunities that normally wouldn't be available.

A mentee, or prot�g�, is a novice, student or learner. At-risk youth can be of any race and religion. They generally come from disadvantaged homes in poor communities. All children need the support of a positive adult, but these particular kids especially need our help.

Research has shown that kids who are mentored have improved school attendance and better academic performance, a good appearance and attitude, less hostility, more self-esteem and many other improved qualities too numerous to name.

One success story is Tasha, a bright girl with many talents. She didn't get along with her dysfunctional family. When she was thirteen years old, she began running away from home. Tasha hung out with boys who got in trouble with the law and she was sent to several detention camps over the next few years. I met Tasha at one such facility when she was almost sixteen. She eagerly signed up for our TV Writing Workshop taught by a professional sitcom writer. The girl quickly bonded with her mentor Lisa.

When Tasha was released from the detention facility and returned to her home, her mentor continued to visit her weekly. They formed a strong bond. Tasha graduated from high school and Lisa helped her mentee apply to USC Film School and arranged for a scholarship. She was one of only fifty people in the world to be accepted into their film program. Tasha moved to Chicago where she attended her first year of law school at the University of Illinois. She's now writing film reviews for the Chicago Examiner and performing standup comedy. She attributes her success to her mentor's support.

Mentors benefit greatly from their experience. It's a powerful feeling to know that you've made a difference in someone's life. Most mentors grow on a personal and professional level through this process. They also learn about different cultures. Many people who mentor develop leadership abilities and have a more profound understanding of children. Their own family bonds strengthen, plus they receive admiration and respect from their own peers.

There are different kinds of mentoring. Here are a few:

1. ONE-ON-ONE MENTORING

This is traditional mentoring, sometimes referred to as a "Special Friend" or a "Big/Little" relationship. You are paired up with one child and usually meet at least once a week. The relationship tends to be close. Don't take this involvement lightly and make sure that you maintain your commitment.

2. GROUP MENTORING

With group mentoring programs, one adult volunteer builds relationships with a number of young people. Meetings can take place with a focus on a particular project or an ongoing activity.

3. TEAM MENTORING

A group of two or more adults work together as a team to mentor a group of youths. This system focuses on team building, leadership development, and community service, but it can be used for any type of program. It's helpful to have a partner(s) in case you have to miss any meetings.

4. FAMILY MENTORING

Low-income families face enormous pressure in getting food and shelter. The stress can severely disrupt family life and lead to homelessness. These families can be matched with mentors (possibly your entire family) who work with them over an extended period of time. By connecting disadvantaged family members with useful community resources, helping them to develop life skills, and strengthening their foundation, you assist the family to overcome challenges.

5. E-MENTORING

By using email and chat rooms on the Internet, mentors can reach children all over the world. Many forms of computer-assisted learning are popular, because students have access to computers at school, libraries, and their homes.

Think carefully about what your needs are and how you can best serve youth before you decide which type of mentoring program is right for you.

There are a lot of things that you can do with your mentees. Many of these kids have never been out of their own neighborhoods. You could take them on a trip to the beach, a hike in the mountains, to a movie, bowling, restaurant, or visit a museum. Teach them how to cook, open a bank account or apply for a job. Expose them to cultural events like the theater, concerts and the circus, or just hang out and talk.

Most importantly, LISTEN! All kids need to communicate and vent. It's important to hear what they say and be as open-minded as possible. Most kids need reliable adults with whom they can talk about their fears, dreams, and concerns. Mentors serve as sounding boards, and when asked, someone who can give trustworthy advice.

Kids may not have any adults in their lives with the time, interest, or the ability to listen to them. Youth who live in institutions like shelters and detention facilities rarely confide in staff members, probation officers or teachers, for fear of punishment. Yet they might confide in you because of the trust that you have developed. It usually takes time, but when youth know that they can count on you, they will start to open up.

It's essential that you don't disappoint your mentee. Mentoring requires commitment and responsibility. You must keep your word and be dependable to have a positive effect. If you break your word, then you'll do more damage than good.

Many of these children have been let down by adults most of their lives. Imagine if you come along, full of hope and excitement, and reach out to lend them a hand. They take it and off you go, spending time together and bonding. They slowly open up and start to trust you. But then something changes in your life; perhaps you get a different job in another part of town, or you've got a new boyfriend who takes up all of your free time. Abandonment can be devastating to any child, especially at-risk kids.

It's okay if you only have sporadic time available to mentor, since even a short amount of time devoted to a youth is better than nothing. But it's essential that you communicate this clearly to your mentee. The most important thing is not to set their expectations high only to let them down later.

These children represent our future. Through your support as a mentor, you can introduce them to a larger world where they're a contributor instead of just another statistic. No matter where you live or what you do for a living, you can impact a child's life. You'll make a big difference in your community, and the world!


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Jill Gurr is the Founder of Create Now (http://www.createnow.org), which provides creative arts mentoring to thousands of troubled youth in Southern California. She has been featured on NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams and Anderson Cooper 360�. Jill has published a book and is a consultant, trainer, coach and speaker. Visit http://www.mentoryouthnow.com